Never Again Just Like You Swore
Insult Sword Fighting is an activity within the Monkey Isle series, heavily featured in the get-go part of The Secret of Monkey Isle and being the bulk of Part Three of The Curse of Monkey Island.
The intention of insults in sword fighting is to throw off an opponents baby-sit and allow a swordsman to printing their attack. Throughout the Caribbean a number of standard insults are used by the many pirates.
During a fight in that location may come a natural pause in the swordplay where ane pirate volition launch an insult such every bit "You fight like a Dairy Farmer". The opponent will then be forced to respond with a comeback. If the improvement is sufficiently insulting, they will win the upper hand in the battle. If not, they will exist fought downwards. Whoever retains the upper manus will be able to throw the side by side insult.
Usually three successfully landed insults will ensure a combatants victory.
Insult Sword Fighting has a slightly different rule when at sea. While fighting on board send, all insult comebacks must rhyme with the attackers line.
The popularity of Insult Sword Fighting has spawned various other insult based pastimes including Insult Arm Wrestling.
Contents
- 1 Learning Process
- 2 Sword Masters
- 3 Insult Sword Fighting In Game
- 3.1 SoMI Insults and Comebacks
- iii.2 Contesting on Sea Insult and Comeback Examples
- 4 Trivia
- 5 References
Learning Procedure [ ]
Guybrush Threepwood was taught two insults and comebacks by Captain Smirk on Mêlée Island: The famous 'dairy farmer' insult and the 'shish kabob'. He could likewise learn the 'smart canis familiaris' insult from the Troll.
After his training, Threepwood had to become out into the woods and face up a number of pirates in order to learn more from them in combat.
At first Threepwood would lose many fights not knowing many insults, merely the pirates would apply new ones which he would so memorize and be able to use in futurity battles. If he used them later on a different pirate who had a proper comeback, he would and then memorize that also.
Sword Masters [ ]
Some practitioners of Insult Sword Fighting are known equally Sword Masters. A famous i is Carla, the Sword Master of Mêlée Isle.
Normally these individuals have their own unique arsenal of insults and those who oppose them are forced to use their wits to observe a comeback in their ain repertoire that makes sense.
It is also impossible to gain the upper manus confronting them, fifty-fifty with a successful comeback. They are beatable, but evidence the toughest opponents of all in sword fights.
Insult Sword Fighting In Game [ ]
In The Secret of Monkey Island Guybrush Threepwood must defeat the Sword Master of Mêlée Island every bit one of the Iii Trials to prove himself worthy of condign a pirate.
In The Curse of Monkey Island Guybrush must observe and confront Captain Rene Rottingham afterward he steals a map from him.
In Escape from Monkey Island, Guybrush Insult arm-wrestles Ignatius Cheese (the owner of the Scumm Bar). Guybrush may also claiming Ozzie Mandrill to an insult swordfight, simply volition exist utterly defeated due to non understanding his opponents Australian themed insults.
In Tales of Monkey Isle Insult Swordfighting is apparently no longer practised by anyone except farm boys according to Morgan LeFlay.
SoMI Insults and Comebacks [ ]
There are 16 in all. Once yous acquire 12 and win three fights with normal pirates, they will brainstorm to say 'Y'all're proficient plenty to fight the Sword Chief'.
| Insult | Comeback |
|---|---|
| You lot fight like a dairy Farmer! | How advisable. Yous fight like a moo-cow! |
| This is the Stop for you, you gutter itch cur! | And I've got a little TIP for y'all, go the Bespeak? |
| I've spoken with apes more polite than you! | I'm glad to hear you attended your family unit reunion! |
| Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab! | Kickoff you'd better stop waving information technology like a feather duster. |
| People fall at my feet when they see me coming! | Even Earlier they smell your jiff? |
| I'thousand not going to take your insolence sitting down! | Your hemorrhoids are flaring up once more eh? |
| I once endemic a canis familiaris that was smarter than you. | He must accept taught you everything you know. |
| Nobody's ever drawn claret from me and nobody ever volition. | Y'all run THAT fast? |
| Accept you stopped wearing diapers yet? | Why? Did you want to infringe ane? |
| There are no words for how disgusting you are. | Yes, there are. You but never learned them. |
| You brand me want to puke. | You make me recollect somebody already did. |
| My handkerchief will wipe up your blood! | So yous got that job as janitor, afterwards all. |
| I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle! | I hope now yous've learned to cease picking your nose. |
| I've heard you are a contemptible sneak. | Too bad no ane's ever heard of YOU at all. |
| You're no friction match for my brains, y'all poor fool. | I'd be in existent trouble if you ever used them. |
| You lot have the manners of a beggar. | I wanted to make certain y'all'd feel comfortable with me. |
| Insult | Comeback |
|---|---|
| Now I know what filth and stupidity actually are. | I'chiliad glad to hear you lot attended your family reunion. |
| Every word yous say to me is stupid. | I wanted to make certain y'all'd experience comfortable with me. |
| I've got a long, precipitous lesson for you to larn today. | And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT? |
| I volition milk every drop of blood from your body! | How appropriate, yous fight like a cow! |
| I've got the courage and skill of a chief swordsman. | I'd be in real trouble if you always used them. |
| My tongue is sharper than any sword. | Starting time, you'd ameliorate finish waving it like a feather-squeegee. |
| My proper name is feared in every muddy corner of this island! | So you got that job as a janitor, after all. |
| My wisest enemies run away at the offset sight of me! | Even BEFORE they smell your jiff? |
| But once have I met such a coward! | He must have taught y'all everything you know. |
| If your brother'south like you lot, better to marry a pig. | Yous make me call up somebody already did. |
| No ane will ever catch ME fighting as desperately equally you do. | You run THAT fast? |
| My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood. | I hope now you've learned to terminate picking your nose. |
| I hope you accept a boat ready for a quick escape. | Why, did you want to borrow one? |
| My sword is famous all over the Caribbean area! | Too bad no one's ever heard of Y'all at all. |
| You are a hurting in the behind, sir! | Your hemorrhoids are flaring upwardly again, eh? |
| I unremarkably see people like you passed-out on tavern floors. | 1. Even Earlier they odor your breath? ii. I'grand glad to hear you attended your family reunion. |
| There are no clever moves that can help you lot now. | Yes, there are. You simply never learned them. |
Battling on Ocean Insult and Comeback Examples [ ]
| Insult | Renee Rottingham'due south Insults | Comeback |
|---|---|---|
| Every enemy I've met I've annihilated! | My attacks have left entire islands depopulated! | With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated. |
| Y'all're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee. | You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei. | I look THAT much similar your fiancée? |
| Killing you would be justifiable homicide! | When I'1000 done, your torso will be rotted and putrified! | Then killing y'all must be justifiable fungicide. |
| You lot're the ugliest monster ever created! | Your looks would make pigs nauseated. | If you lot don't count all the ones you've dated. |
| I'll skewer you like a sow at a buffet! | Your lips wait like they belong on take hold of of the 24-hour interval! | When I'thou done with you, you'll be a boneless filet. |
| Would you similar to be cached, or cremated? | I give you a option. Yous can be gutted, or decapitated! | With y'all effectually, I'd prefer to be fumigated. |
| Coming face to confront with me must leave you petrified! | Never before accept I seen someone then sissified! | Is that your face? I thought it was your backside. |
| When your begetter first saw yous, he must have been mortified! | You're a disgrace to your species, you're then undignified! | At least mine can exist identified. |
| You lot can't match my witty repartee! | Nothing can stop me from blowing you lot away! | I could, if you would use some breath spray. |
| I accept never seen such clumsy swordplay! | I accept never lost to a melee! | You would have, but you lot were always running away. |
| En garde! Bear oné! | Your mother wears a toupee! | Oh, that is so cliché. |
| Throughout the Caribbean, my cracking deeds are celebrated! | My skills with a sword are highly venerated! | Too bad they're all fabricated. |
| I can't rest 'til y'all've been exterminated! | Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated! | Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated. |
| I'll go out you devastated, mutilated, and perforated! | I can't tell you which of my traits leaves you nearly intimidated. | Your olfactory property lone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated. |
| Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died! | Nothing on this Earth tin relieve your lamentable hide! | The only mode you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde. |
| I'll hound you night and day! | You'll notice I am dogged and relentless to my prey! | Then be a good canis familiaris. Sit! Stay! |
Trivia [ ]
- Many of the insults in SoMI were written past Orson Scott Card, the author of the 1985 book Ender'south Game, and his children. His daughter Emily was responsible for the iconic "You fight like a dairy farmer!". Card was non made aware of the insult and reply dynamic however, so Dave Grossman and Tim Schafer had to fill the gaps and brand sure the insults they had were suitable for the fights against generic pirates, and also against the alternate insults of the Sword Master.
- In ToMI, Threepwood can utilise the insult "Every enemy I've met I've annihilated" while dueling Morgan LeFlay. She gives the correct response.
References [ ]
http://www.hatrack.com/cgi-bin/ubbmain/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=002980;p=0
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Never Again Just Like You Swore
Source: https://monkeyisland.fandom.com/wiki/Insult_Sword_Fighting